Struggling with Sacrifice

I understand that as women, we sacrifice an awful lot to have a baby. Giving up control of our own bodies, battling extreme fatigue, the weight gain and the problems associated with that such as swollen feet and cankles, a larger butt. . . Developing gestational diabetes and then having to follow a stricter diet, the one time in your life when you shouldn't have to worry about food. And that's just while you are pregnant. Don't get me wrong, there are many rewarding sides to pregnancy such as seeing the baby, feeling the baby move, feeling those little hiccups. . .and knowing you are assisting God in creating one of the most special miracles of all. . .life. But at this point in the pregnancy, with the baby to be here very soon, I can't help but feel bitter about the sacrifices I am making now and will be making when the baby is here. I think a lot of it has to do with seeing how weighted the sacrifices are on my side compared to my husband's side. There are virtually no sacrifices he is making, as it seems to me. He has been able to go along this pregnancy just as he normally does. If you ask the question "what are you sacrificing?" he will tell you that he is selling his truck. Which really shouldn't count at all. The plan was to sell that truck before I got pregnant. . .he is just now getting around to it. I really can't think of anything else that he is sacrificing for this baby. He gets to work a part time job that he enjoys and keep it with his sweet morning hours and I will be working 2-10 when I come back from maternity leave so we can avoid the cost of daycare, because obviously with a whole household and only one full time income coming in, we can't exactly afford daycare. I am not thrilled about working 2-10 but it is something I have to do at this point in my life. I am very greatful my employer was willing to work with me and find me a solution so I could still be full time there and avoid daycare. I'm just frustrated that my husband seems he is entitled to just having his one part time job because its the first time he found a job he really likes. Most people go thru their whole lives never loving their job. I think most people get a job that pays the bills. Not to mention he will have basically the whole afternoon and evening to play with the baby. Where I can see myself taking care of the baby in the mornings and doing most, if not all, of the household chores since we really have an issue with who does what chores right now as it is. I know I need to sacrifice some things in order to have this baby, and I am OK with that, it just is frustrating to me that at this point, it seems that this is all going unnoticed and unappreciated by the one person that it should matter to the most.

Pregnancy Feet & A Proud Dad to Be

Well it is official. I am pregnant. Which has been common knowledge for the last 8 or so months, but I feel like it is finally official. My belly button never "popped out" and I don't think it is going to, which I felt like was the badge of pregnancy. The other badge is the swollen feet and cankles. Which I know have. If this was the dead of summer I would quite literally be "barefoot and pregnant". I bought 4 new pairs of flats last weekend and on Tuesday I could not wear two of them. I was at DSW for 2 hours and tried on these 4 pairs of shoes multiple times in different sizes to make sure they would fit, and they did, and now two of them do not at all. Figures. I was starting to think that I would escape the swollen feet, but I shouldn't have thought I would be so lucky. So my feet and ankles just looked like giant puffy things at the end of my legs for three days this week. I did manage to get a foot rub out of the deal tho which wasn't half bad. :) With today being Saturday, and not having done much or gone anywhere, my feet feel pretty good today. One of my friends told me that the swollen and puffy feet are a sign that your body is getting ready for birth so she is convinced that I will deliver early, which I would have to say would be fine with me. :) Mike is currently on a mission. A room re-decorating project. When we found out we were having a boy, we figued my brother's old room would be the baby's room. (We live in the house I grew up in.) This was the perfect room, deep blue carpet and some plaid wallpaper on the bottom of the walls, cream colored paint above and a border with the continents on it. Not exactly baby but definitely boy. Well we started cleaning it out, it was serving as an office so to speak that we were rarely in, and we discovered the cat had used it as his personal pee pad. So the carpet was going to have to go. Ok no big deal, we began the hunt for a nuetral colored carpet so we could keep the walls in tact. Mike found the perfect carpet and we couldn't argue with the price. . .but it was light blue. . .not exactly what I had in mind being that the wallpaper had darker colors in it, but he was dead set on it, so we got it. Got it home and it was not going to look good. It took getting an outside opinion from one of our friends to make him see that. So the quest for new wallpaper began. This little boy better love sports is all I have to say. And with me and Mike's parents being so into the Vikings and even Mike himself now, that should not be hard to accomplish. :) We had already received a sports themed bedding set so needed some wallpaper to go along with that and after searching many stores, finally found it at Hirschfield's. I was a little leary because it was so expensive and neither one of us had ever done wallpaper before but Mike insisted, this was something he really wanted to do, so I said Ok. So Mike finished cleaning out the rest of the room this week, re-painted on Friday and started taking the old wallpaper down and ripped out the old carpet. When he took down the old wallpaper that my Mom had put up, he paid attention to how she had done it and then had no problems putting up the new stuff. It was kind of cool, it was like Mom taught him how do it without really being here to tell him. She is here in the house, there is no doubt, and she still continues to teach us both. It will be hard to leave this house when that time comes, but that is years away still. Anyway, he started and completed the wallpaper border today and it looks awesome. For the last few hours he has been working on the bottom half of the wall with the paper. I haven't been up there to see what it looks like, I'm sitting down here with the doggies. The border looks awesome, I sat in there and chatted with him while he did that. I think he wants to finish the wallpaper tonight and then put in the carpet tomorrow which would be awesome because then all the baby stuff we have accumulated in the living room could actually go into his room. I just want to get organized, we have a big to do list still and most of the list are tasks that I will not be able to do, much less help much with. I don't think he minds at all which is nice but I still feel bad I can't help. The last thing we need to do upstairs is paint our bedroom, shampoo the carpet and re-arrange and then we can work on the last section of the basement. This baby has really pushed us to do a lot of things that we have been putting off for some time. :)

On Wednesday I had a "growth" ultrasound so they could see how the baby has progressed since last month. He is now just a week behind my gestational age. He still has long legs and his head circumference and his abdomen grew enough to put him into the 33rd percentile for growth, which the Dr was very happy about, considering where he was the last time we saw him. They estimate that he weighs about 3 lbs 10 oz right now. Still just a little guy in there. :) He is definitely running out of room in there, his little arm and hand were smashed up against his face. He is head down and in a good position and at the appointment was laying on his side, facing my right side. :) Its amazing how they can tell you all of that information. The Dr took a look at my blood sugar numbers and approved of those so that was really good for me to know what I have been doing to take of the gestational diabetes is actually working without needing insulin. He said that as long as my numbers continue to look good, then he thinks we can go a few more weeks without needing another a growth check. And I have only gained 3 lbs since getting the GD almost a month ago. . .woot woot!!! So I asked him if he was still thinking about wanting to take him early because after the last growth check he was considering inducing me early, depending on how the growth does or does not progress. He said that as long as the baby is active and appears to be growing, even if it is at a slow and steady rate, then he is fine with leaving him in there until he decides its time to make his debut. So that is fine with me! I am excited and anxious to meet him, but we still have a lot of stuff to do around the house to get ready for him. :) I also talked to the Dr about a contraction that I experienced while Mike and I were walking on treadmills at the gym last week. All of a sudden my whole abdomen area got super tight and hard and there was a pressure pushing downwards, it lasted for most of the time we were walking. It was unlike anything else I have ever felt, worse than when the baby is pushing so hard you can feel his little feet. The Dr said that was probably a practice contraction and the next time it happens I need to stop what I am doing and rest and time it, if it lasts for an hour then I need to call the clinic so they can asses what needs to be done, which he said most of the time is nothing at this stage. So that was interesting to feel. I haven't been to the gym since. :) I go back in two weeks just for a quick check up and then I will be going back two weeks from then and then I'm on once a week appointments. . .so the time is really starting to go by fast. I think with the transition from winter to spring happening at this same time, it really makes the time seem like it is flying. I've been feeling pretty good overall. I tend to get acid reflux more often now, especially if I try to turn in a chair to look behind me or have to bend down to pick something up, its instantly there. Tums go everywhere with me. :) I'm feeling pretty big and clumsy and every time I see Dad he tells me that I am "getting pretty big". Which is fine, I know he doesn't mean anything bad by it. I'm still hanging in there, haven't really felt much of the 'I just want to be done with this' yet. . .but I still have a good 8 or so weeks to go!