Thursday, March 25, 2010

Struggling with Sacrifice

I understand that as women, we sacrifice an awful lot to have a baby. Giving up control of our own bodies, battling extreme fatigue, the weight gain and the problems associated with that such as swollen feet and cankles, a larger butt. . . Developing gestational diabetes and then having to follow a stricter diet, the one time in your life when you shouldn't have to worry about food. And that's just while you are pregnant. Don't get me wrong, there are many rewarding sides to pregnancy such as seeing the baby, feeling the baby move, feeling those little hiccups. . .and knowing you are assisting God in creating one of the most special miracles of all. . .life. But at this point in the pregnancy, with the baby to be here very soon, I can't help but feel bitter about the sacrifices I am making now and will be making when the baby is here. I think a lot of it has to do with seeing how weighted the sacrifices are on my side compared to my husband's side. There are virtually no sacrifices he is making, as it seems to me. He has been able to go along this pregnancy just as he normally does. If you ask the question "what are you sacrificing?" he will tell you that he is selling his truck. Which really shouldn't count at all. The plan was to sell that truck before I got pregnant. . .he is just now getting around to it. I really can't think of anything else that he is sacrificing for this baby. He gets to work a part time job that he enjoys and keep it with his sweet morning hours and I will be working 2-10 when I come back from maternity leave so we can avoid the cost of daycare, because obviously with a whole household and only one full time income coming in, we can't exactly afford daycare. I am not thrilled about working 2-10 but it is something I have to do at this point in my life. I am very greatful my employer was willing to work with me and find me a solution so I could still be full time there and avoid daycare. I'm just frustrated that my husband seems he is entitled to just having his one part time job because its the first time he found a job he really likes. Most people go thru their whole lives never loving their job. I think most people get a job that pays the bills. Not to mention he will have basically the whole afternoon and evening to play with the baby. Where I can see myself taking care of the baby in the mornings and doing most, if not all, of the household chores since we really have an issue with who does what chores right now as it is. I know I need to sacrifice some things in order to have this baby, and I am OK with that, it just is frustrating to me that at this point, it seems that this is all going unnoticed and unappreciated by the one person that it should matter to the most.

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Twin Cities, Minnesota
I am a mom, wife and I work full time outside the home, trying to find the balance in it all.